I’ve only memorably been called a bitch twice in my near 40 years: once by a particularly unpleasant band of South East London hoodlums for standing up to their invite to violence with nonviolence; perplexing the bunch of them; the second ‘bitching’ occurred today, and it was a lady on the Twitters – lauding me for suggesting that the calling (and baiting) of women as bitches was misogynistic and something to be avoided. Let’s take a look at what that’s all about.

This is poignant because of the happenings over the weekend; indeed it is because of a related social media debate that I was called a bitch. The linked article covers the sentiment that the idea of owning the body of another human being, either physically or metaphysically, is not only abhorrent, it is also perverted. I applaud the women that were forcibly exposed; I applaud them embracing their sexuality (as we all do in our private moments) but they don’t actually need that – they need nothing from me, because it is none of my business. They wish me to know about their sex life as much as I wish them to know about mine. I don’t want to find someone in my backyard anymore than in my cloud, and I expect privacy from both, although I acknowledge both are breachable. A burglary has occurred, and the simplest metaphor is the receiving of stolen goods. Sadly there is no way to reclaim said property; the dissemination of such (if you really think about it) is a poor comment on our society. Just because something is available, doesn’t mean it should be taken, or used.

Phrases can be counted in this.

I was called a bitch because I’d responded to a radio show segment entitled Bitch Be TRIPPIN’ – the concept being that callers cite examples of women being incorrect, over-reacting, and/or being unreasonable – lending to the labeling of trippin’; a colloquialism of hysteria, ascribed to the lowest common denominator of personality; the bitch. This label is a dismissive rating, largely devaluing the target, thusly: establish she is a bitch first, then write off the value of her thoughts or feelings by labeling them hysterical. Simple power – you are an other and, in any case, you are wrong.

What is interesting about the above occurrence is that it immediately became about power and those concepts of taking power, the ownership of power, the trade of power are entrenched in the issue of feminism, and it is feminism that tells us of misogyny. It is important here to distinguish misogyny from sexism; Bitch be TRIPPIN’ isn’t sexist, even though it appears to be at first – it is a more insipid crystallization of sexist discourse that defines women as other, the trippin’ part is merely an event along the continuum of otherness, being incorrect or emotional is a state, being a bitch is a constant – and that is misogynistic.

Misogyny, like racism, homophobia, and sexism, is a virus. It undermines the processing and vision of a person, it infects their thinking, it appropriates their lexicon, and it spreads itself through communities. In an attempt to antidote, the word is re-appropriated by the marginalized and employed, thereby taking the power away – as we often see in counter, protest, and subculture. This doesn’t mean that we get to use them though, not really, not in comedy, not in media, and not generally in public discourse, lest we open ourselves to commentary and reprimand. But free speech? What of free speech – true, and have at it, speak as you wish and as you will – but it defines you, just as what you do defines you. We all weave our realities together by thought and action, which is why I get to say a person is a misogynist, and ironically someone gets to call me a bitch, and there we all are in this reality.