Much has been written about clinically appropriate ‘endings’ to therapeutic relationships, I prefer to think of it as transitioning out of a partnership with an individual where the work never truly ends. There will be a continuum of assistance, even if it is non-professional, and we therapists represent an aspect of that help.

Quantum Theory illustrates for us that effects can occur as a result of observation, that is to say the very nature of being present in therapy is likely to be affecting change within an-other that resonates and permeates endlessly. Our ego should not be so inflated as to think the work ends with us, and it should not be so stunted as to discredit the meaningful interpersonal relations that underpin clinical transactions – but we are not in the business of creating a lasting relationship, far from it – we are in the business of creating the absence of need. The best clinician works to make their presence obsolete. That may seem profoundly counter intuitive for a profession, but it is the noblest of therapeutic goals.

We don’t cease to exist though, as I said, the work continues; it is just permuted – and like Obi Wan transitioning through death in Star Wars, it becomes more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

It is a challenge for psychotherapists and social workers alike to acknowledge the profound meaning generated through their interaction with a client, whilst simultaneously depersonalizing the investment so that client has the freedom to grow. If we don’t honor that process then we risk minimizing the importance for our clients, and devaluing the change they have experienced. Even the stuck clients, the resistant, the missing, the obtuse, and the difficult – we must be aware that our leaving may trigger them, and the absence of someone who demonstrated unconditional positive regard has the potential to be highly depressing.

Whichever role we adopt, and whomever we may come to represent for our clients, it is our privilege to embody it; it is a uniquely subjective adventure that could not occur without the other. Fostering an ability to facilitate clients’ tolerating and holding their experiences and emotions within therapy is the mark of true professional – anyone can ‘uh-huh’ and ‘tell me more’. Sophomoric psychology 101 feeds back to the client with ‘what I’m hearing is’, but the process that finds a client within their narrative yet reaching their own objective reflections is a manifestation that marks real therapy. That is not to negate the tried and tested foundations; it is to acknowledge the truism that with the right circumstances it occurs organically, and without force. When there is a therapeutic fit, the work literally generates itself.

So how should one approach the final session? For myself I acknowledge the work, the motions, the growth, the reason for the change (a physical move, a transition through teams, a promotion, the closing of a program, the culmination of a process), and I reference this: that meaning and connection, transference and communication has occurred, support and facilitation have combined with psychoeducation and compassion, empathy and trust have been fostered – and if it can happen once, it can happen again. In acknowledging our ability to connect as human beings, and in understanding that we are able to create meaningful and beneficial interactions over again, we are identifying our clients’ empowerment to alter their lives and the lives of others. There is no better way to say farewell.